Do You See What I See, This O Holy Night
by anna becker
Summary: Remembering old and new friends. Bellamy's surprise and Boo's realization. Boo and Bellamy's second Christmas. #17 in a series of one shots


**Do You See What I See, This O Holy Night**

 _A Bellamy\Boo_

 _One shot #17_

She watched from the window taking in the world below her. A dead burning planet, so different from a year ago. A year ago she had been on said planet watching her very first snowfall. Reveling in the newness of it. Enjoying the cold feel of it on her skin. She had decorated a tree, made a snowman and had started to believe. She had started to believe that she had finally found a home. He had helped with that. Helped decorate her pathetic tree that was decked out in decorations made from whatever spare pieces she found about. He had helped her keep her faith. He had helped her find something even if it was in a tradition of a people long since gone. What he didn't know, what she had never told him was just how important this day really was to her.

She didn't feel it this year. The joy, the hope. So much had happened in such a short time. She continued to stare down at what was left of their home. She thought about everything they had lost, all that they had left behind. She rested her head against the cool window feeling the cold of space seeping through. A single tear ran down her cheek but she brushed it away. She needed to be strong. The few who had made it to what was left of the ark were the lucky ones. But she still felt sad.

She had gotten good at hiding it. He didn't like it when she was sad and she didn't like it when he was upset. He had become overly protective of her wellbeing as of late. Ever since she was almost left behind. She had made it at the last second but others not so much and she had blamed herself. She told herself it was the guilt that kept her down. The guilt that she was her and Clarke was not. She was his best friend and she had given her life to save them all. She sighed as she traced designs on the window lost in her own thoughts.

"It's not your fault." A voice sounded from the door. She jumped slightly and turned to see him standing at the door leaning against the frame. He had found her just like he always did. He always found her. She tried to shrug it off.

"What do you mean?" She tried to keep the sadness from her voice but she failed.

"Clarke." He simply stated as he pushed away from the door jam and came toward her until he was standing in front of her. She had to look up to meet his eyes, his worried guilt ridden eyes. "Leaving her behind. That's not on you. She did what she did to save us all so that we could live." She looked down at her hands unable to meet his gaze.

"But she was your best friend and I'm...just...me. The girl that shouldn't exist." She felt him step closer, his fingers on her chin tipping it up so that she was looking at him.

"You're my best friend and you are most definitely meant to exist." She fought back tears as he tucked a bit of her hair behind her ear.

"You don't understand." She shook her head. "I literally am not supposed to be here."

"Emmi..." He started.

"Today is my birthday. You know the story about my birth. I'm only here because someone found me and took pity on me. I was reminded every day that I shouldn't have been born."

"Oh Boo I know it's been hard." He said softly. She shrugged in response.

"It doesn't matter."

"Boo, look at me." She sighed and looked up at him. "You do matter. There are people who care. I care and I am so very glad I found you. Which is why I remembered that about a year ago I found you sitting shivering in a snow drift decorating a tree. It seemed important to you then so I thought we could continue in that tradition." She looked up at him questionably.

"What do you mean?" He held out his hand for her to take.

"Do you trust me, Boo?"

"You know I do." She answered as she took his hand. "But where are you going?" He just smiled at her.

"Just come with me. I have a surprise for you."

"Bellamy..." She started to say but he just squeezed her hand leading her out of the room.

"Just...trust me, okay." He gave her a reassuring smile as he led her through the darkened hallways. I'm order for them to reserve power most of what was left of the ring was like this, dark and unused. So she was surprised at the direction they were taking.

"Bellamy, where are we going?" She asked again.

"We're almost there." Was all that he said and then he stopped in front of a set of doors. He turned around and faced her. "Okay I need you to turn around." She just looked at him and rolled her eyes as he chuckled at her reaction. "Just turn around." She sighed slightly, rolled her eyes and did just that. A minute later he was behind her and placed something over her eyes.

"What are...?"

"Just go with it, please." He whispered in her ear as he turned her around and led her into what she assumed was the room. "Alright, you ready?" He asked his voice with a hint of nervousness in it. But Bellamy Blake was never nervous. The opposite in fact. He was the most confident person she had ever meant.

"I guess." She said with a slight laugh and then the blind fold was lifted. She blinked a few times to clear her vision and then she gasped at what she saw in front of her. The entire room was filled with tiny sparkling lights. Homemade ornaments made from scrapes hung from the ceiling and in the center of the room sat a pile of "stuff" that was fashioned into something that resembled a tree. She giggled at his hodge podge mess that he had created. It was the single sweetest thing anyone has ever done for her.

"I know it's not the real deal but I was kinda hoping..." She looked at him with tears in her eyes.

"Oh Bellamy, it's beautiful. You really did all of this for me?" He looked at his feet. His cheeks flushing slightly.

"Well, you're worth it." She suddenly threw her arms around his neck pulling him in for a hug.

"Thank you Bell, really." She whispered and then gave him a kiss on his cheek. He chuckled again holding her close.

"Well it's not done yet." He then handed her a box.

"What's this?" She asked holding it in her hand.

"I believe the tradition is to give gifts during this time." She looked up at him tears streaming down her face this time.

"But I don't have anything for you." This time he kissed her on the forehead.

"Seeing you happy with a smile and having you right here is my gift. You are my gift Lil Boo." He pulled her into another hug and she smiled another big smile.

"Aww Bellamy Blake you really are a softy and really, really corny." She said with a quiet chuckle as she returned the hug.

"Just open it, will you." He said with amusement in his voice. She removed the kid and nestled inside was a star that he had shaped from bits of scrap metal he had found. She lifted it from the box holding it up to the light. The reflections of the ring lights from around the room bounced off from it giving it the illusion of a shining star.

"Oh Bell, it's beautiful." She said quietly as she couldn't tear her eyes away from it.

"Do you like it?"

"Like it? I love it." She reached up and kissed him on the cheek causing him to blush once again. He cleared his throat as she moved away her eyes wandering through the room. She took in every light, every ornament. She had never seen something so wonderful.

"The star made me think of you Emmi." He said breaking the silence. He only used her real name when he was being serious. He approached her and placed his hands on her hips bringing her closer to him. "You are my star. My light in this dark world. You do have family here and as dysfunctional as we all are we will all get through this together. You never have to be alone again."

"I know and thank you for reminding me."

"Reminding you of what?" He asked her.

"What this is all about. Family, love, hope. Thank you for being my family. Merry Christmas Bellamy." He smirked and pulled her in for a kiss, holding her as close to him as he could.

"Happy birthday my Lil Boo." He whispered as he pulled away. "Now I do believe the others are waiting for us." She took one last look around the room before they headed out.

A few hours later she looked around the table at each of her friends, her family. Each had overcome so much in such a short time yet they had all come together despite their differences. These people who were all so different from one another in so many ways had become a tight knit little family and they were hers. She then realized just how blessed she really was and after all that is the reason for this day.

 **A\N Merry Christmas everyone. I hope you like this and if you like our Boo and her Bellamy a full length story is in the world for 2019. Have a great holiday everyone!**


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